How often do we lose touch with people or just stop connecting….and why? Social media makes it so easy for us to “connect”. With just a few clicks on a keyboard, we are connected. But is that really connecting? Since I joined Facebook, I have actually reconnected with a few friends and some family that I had lost contact with. But most of my Facebook "friends" are virtual and they lack substance.
Just this past week, I reconnected with a friend that I have known almost 30 years, and I was the maid of honor in her wedding. She and her husband lived an hour away so most of the time when we got together, I would spend the weekends with them. He and I were the night owls so we would hang out when she went to bed and watch bad late night television. I always remember having a good time with both of them. I also got to enjoy time with their friends and family. But, somewhere along the way we lost touch. That was over ten years ago. Throughout the last few years, I would look for her on Facebook, to no avail. This past week, I drove by the location where her husband used to have a business. We had a lot of fun times there. I would go there after work and give haircuts to all of his mechanic friends. I can remember the Sunday afternoon that a few of us were there and he sliced his finger on a table saw and we spent an afternoon in the Emergency room. When I saw the old building this week, I thought I would try to see if he was on Facebook and maybe I could connect with her through him. But….nothing. The I decided to try to find her again and this time I did... I “friended” her and sent her an e-mail.
I asked myself, why did we lose touch? I can’t answer that, because I actually have no idea. Life got in the way? She had children. I was dating my husband. Not a good excuse, but the only one that I have ten years later.
I was excited when this past Wednesday she accepted my “friend request” and responded to my e-mail. I told her that I would love to get together. I asked her how her kids and her husband were. She responded to me on Thursday and told me the kids were great, but that she and her husband had been separated for the last three years. That made me sad, but somehow I feel I knew something wasn’t right with them when I reached out to her. Maybe the universe was telling me to reach out to her. She gave me her phone number and I called her when I got out of work that day. There was no answer, so I left her a message and I e-mailed her. I was anxious to reconnect and catch up on the last ten years.
When I got home from work on Friday night, there was an e-mail from her telling me that her husband had been killed in a car accident……..
I cannot stop thinking about her and her boys. I cannot stop thinking about the years that were wasted and for some reason that I am not even sure of. I cannot stop questioning what the universe is trying to tell me. I am wise enough to know that this is a sign. The universe reconnected me with this friend the day before her husband died…..there is a reason for that.....but right now, I am not sure what that reason is or what the universe is trying to tell me.
Ø Maybe the universe is showing me how important relationships are and that we cannot take them for granted. All relationships take work and all parties need to want to work at it.
Ø Maybe the universe is showing me how precious life is.
Ø Maybe the universe wants me to realize how short life is and that I need to respect and nurture it.
Ø Maybe the universe knew my friend was going to need support now and brought us back together.
Ø Maybe the universe has a different plan altogether and I will never know what it is.....
I have been saddened all day at the loss she is experiencing and the loss that I have allowed to occur. It is so easy to not work at relationships and let them end. How often do we take the easy way out?
in memory of Tom.....